I talk a lot about dissolving our old patterns, telling new stories, challenging ourselves to recognize when we’re doing, thinking or saying something out of habit or trauma or comfort instead of from a Fuck Yes place.

The key is REPLACING one story with a new, more exciting and expansive one. If we don’t have something to fill its place, we automatically go back to what’s familiar because, on a deep level, it’s comforting regardless of how unhelpful it has become.

Keep in mind that the habits and patterns we have developed were put into place to preserve us–it is a story that we told ourselves to stay safe. Once we are resourced enough to feel safe, we can move beyond it. Having the understanding that what we are working through was our psyche’s amazing function of helping and protecting us can bring a little bit more compassion into the whole process.

Let’s explore how to actually rewrite some new stories:

Identify what is no longer helpful.

Whether you want to start going to the gym more often, step into your power, or transform a specific relationship, form it into a positive, affirmative statement and include how you want to feel.

• I move every day to feel strong & healthy
• My Power, Gifts & Abilities flow through me effortlessly
• I only invest energy in nourishing, aligned connections
• I am safe. I am worthy. I am free.

Write it down and revisit this first thing in the morning: In your meditation, while you’re brushing your teeth, whatever. Just do it immediately. Seriously. Even before checking you phone.

Bring awareness when you are playing into to an old story.

This is probably the trickiest part. Habits are so insidious because our bodies & unconscious minds do them on autopilot–we usually don’t even realize we’re doing them. This is why seeing and focusing on your affirmation statement is so important–it brings what we WANT to the forefront of our minds so that anything that is NOT in alignment begins to become more clear.

Also, never underestimate your support network. Tell your close circle what you’re up to, what you’re looking to invite in, and maybe even share you affirmation statement with them. Ask them to call you up with kindness when you’re acting out of integrity with who YOU want to be. Then thank them when they do!

Redirect your actions, words, & thoughts.

When you notice that you’re acting out of a pattern, pause.

Take a deep breath.

Thank yourself for notice, and thank the pattern that once kept you safe.

What else is possible in this moment? Come back to your Affirmation.

Now redirect: Find a different course of action, a different way of being. Even if it’s just doing nothing!

When you notice you want to reach out to someone who isn’t in alignment, or finding an excuse to avoid the gym, or noticing some defeating self talk, you are now acknowledging that you have a choice. You can do what you usually do, or you can do something–literally anything–else, and begin to break that pattern.

Affirm your new way of Being.

This is a subtle, but necessary step. When you catch yourself doing something other than your pattern, repeat your Affirmation. You are creating who you are meant to be–it’s a big deal! Working through patterns, feeling safe in the world, and expanding into something new and different is a transformative endeavor–be sure to find a sense of pride and accomplishment here. Regardless of how small it seems, it’s monumental!

Be easy. Allow for mistakes.

Notice what triggers come up as you begin to notice and redirect your actions, words and thoughts. Acknowledge that it pissed you off when your friend called you up on your behavior–because it will. Take responsibility when you notice that you’re in your pattern, and you still do it anyway–because you will.

This process is neither cute or comfortable–it’s not supposed to be. You are disrupting your status quo in order to commit to a more enticing, expansive and authentic version of your Self. This is who you need to become to truly be of service, to do your work in the world, and emerge into your Potential.

Drop me a line and let me know how it goes!