Just like any cleanse, way of eating, exercise regimen that we go for knowing it’s not sustainable (Whole30, triathlon training, Crossfit), we must allow ourselves a certain amount of leeway for slip-ups.
After all, this isn’t the way we’re used to being–or even meant to be–and yet the admonishment we subject ourselves to tends to be more damaging than the slip-up itself.
Man Break needed some leeway lately. Ok, a lot of leeway. But dark dancefloors and Massive Attack were involved. And then Hawaii.
So.
We are so quick to berate ourselves for not doing what we’re Supposed To. The fact that Supposed To even exists sets ourselves up to do what we’re Not Supposed To. What is right in each moment changes. What feels good, truthful and nourishing in one breath might not be in the next.
Our culture is fixated on linear paths and clear trajectories. But pleasure is not linear. Nor is delight or expansion or self-growth. Neither is success, weight loss or starting a business, for that matter. When we are focused on not “slipping up,” we stay stuck because we are too afraid to venture outside of the way that is comfortable.
Sure, we can set forth a plan, but we cannot account for the amazing opportunities that present themselves, and that’s where the true growth comes from. Whether you’re trying to improve your mile time, eat healthfully, or mindfully engage in relationship, the unexpected moments & situations teach us about ourselves more than any plan of our own making could.
Creation doesn’t give a shit about your plan anyway–when we move from a place of What Feels Right, we allow Divine Orchestration to unfold.
There is a time and a place for our plans: I’ve learned TONS on my Man Break and still continue to do so. But to have been rigid and unrelenting in my “rules” would have shut me off to the beautiful connections that were in store for me.
Real discipline comes into play when constantly surrender to what arises, when we have the faith to say Yes and trust it is meant for us, when we can abandon our plan when some Mysterious & Wonderful Surprise pops up.
To living & loving the Unknown, babes.
